A bowl of Gravy Train on the head
By Lori Berglund — Daily Freeman-Journal Editor
POSTED: March 26, 2008
Article Photos
They were talking about coffee tables, apparently flying coffee tables.
Someone had asked about things that people had thrown and that’s when the flying coffee table must have come up.
It was a comedy show, my favorite comedy show, Bob and Tom in the morning and I had tuned in to this conversation about flying objects in the middle of it one morning this week. Not only were the four regulars talking about things they have thrown over the years, but listeners were also calling in and talking about things they have thrown. It was not only comedic, but cathartic, sort of like communal penance if you could hear what everyone else was confessing.
Who? That was the next question. Who on earth did you throw a coffee table at?
Well, the person who had thrown a coffee table was a woman; so, of course, the person she had thrown it at was a man. A boyfriend perhaps, or maybe one of her husbands-plural.
OK, now as violent as it's sounding here, this was a comedy show and no one was hurt in the throwing of the coffee table or any other alleged airborne objects. But it did make me laugh on my early morning drive, that's for sure.
And as callers kept phoning in telling about their own moments of stupidity in throwing objects, I tried to think back about anything I may have thrown in similar moments of stupidity. I'm sure I probably have, but I don't remember any right now. However, I could definitely relate to Bob and Tom's fondness for a book about "cartoon physics."
Yes, the cartoons of the Baby Boom era had their own unique laws of physics. In pursuit of the Road Runner, the coyote could run off the edge of a mountaintop and keep right on running. He would never fall to the ground until he made the mistake of looking down. That's "cartoon physics" and there are many other similar laws that would be really cool if they applied in real life.
Most of us Baby Boomers grew up in larger families, which seem to be a breeding ground for their own form of slapstick comedy. I just about laughed till I cried when siblings started calling in telling about things they had thrown at their brothers and sisters over the years.
The best, the absolute best, was a woman who remembered chasing her sister through the house and, as they sped through the kitchen, the one sister saw that their mother had just put down a dish of fresh Gravy Train for the dog, water added. The girl scooped up the dish of Gravy Train and nailed the back of her sister's head with it.
Hey, who has not wanted to throw a bowl of Gravy Train at their sister (or brother, or husband, or wife) from time to time?
There's nothing like getting ready for school and then having to go back to the shower to get a full bowl of Gravy Train out of your hair.
I was thinking just the other day that one of my brothers has no idea that an incident between the two of us several years ago left me with a lifelong scar. It was his birthday and me, being way smaller than any of my brothers, decided I needed the assistance of a utensil to give him a proper birthday spanking. (Hey, we were very young.) So I found a stick and prepared to do battle. Being the nice little sister that I am, I made sure the sharp end was pointed back at myself. But I didn't foresee that my brother would simply push me and the stick away and, of course, the pointed end came back at me and left a scar that doctors still ask about today.
"How long have you had that?"
Oh, just about forever, is my answer.
I've heard tell of other farm siblings who have thrown everything from cow pies to scoop shovels of other assorted goodies at their brothers and sisters. All in the name of brotherly love, of course.
But, like I said, other than the stick that scarred me for life, I really haven't thrown a lot of things over the years. But if you see me stocking up on Gravy Train, you just might want to be very, very, nice to me that day.
